No. ( perhaps it was, on some level. but it was not the thought behind the lance he wielded, the blade that cut his father's throat. ) It was revenge. For my mother, who he slew when she challenged him, attempting to protect me.
She failed, and I was thrown into the Sea of Souls.
You have my condolences for your mother, and for what you've suffered through.
Your home's way of thinking is not unknown to me. My home, called Noxus, was much the same: a conquering nation, obsessed with bloodshed and the might of its warriors. Every handful of years, they march on another nation, as its people grow restless with paltry arena fights.
[ She cannot say she loves her home when she has been gone from it for so long. She misses it, as one might always miss their first home, but to think of it is to think of the dead she has lost. ]
You've suffered to bring your people some light. To force them to realize who they are. I'm sorry that it took such a terrible loss to come to that.
( he can't quite recall if anyone had expressed sorrow for his past, given that he himself is ultimately unconcerned with it. not because he doesn't care -- the ghost of his mother come to visit him at night in half-remembered dreams still cherished memory -- but because it serves no purpose to linger upon them. if there was one lesson the abyss taught him it's that lingering will only drag him down into the cold depths and into death. )
And yet you exist, proof that they can be more than what they have decided for themselves. Do you wish to steer them likewise?
( though that might be difficult for someone who is not royalty, he supposes. )
It is a choice I'd make again. For their sake no sacrifice is too great or too costly if I am the only one to bear the weight of it.
I've been in exile for almost twenty years now. My home would not know me even if I returned. And were I to do so, I doubt anyone would listen to the ideals of someone who wishes to see less violence.
[ It's ingrained in Noxus' very lifeblood, the foundation of its society. To request that it be brought to a halt so suddenly will throw the entire nation in turmoil. And as she is the daughter of Ambessa Medarda, there is no guarantee anyone would believe her viewpoint as it is. ]
But we cannot always decide who pays the cost, Mydei. Sometimes, the cost is paid by those around us, even if we have different intentions.
And you think my people did? That is why I gave them no other choice but to adapt.
( A harsh lesson to be sure, but Mydei rather some of his people hate and loathe him for taking their home away from them, from turning it into his fortress and the battlefield where he will meet the black tide. Over and over again, until he dies his final death. )
It's different for me. ( No one said he wasn't arrogant, however well intentioned he is. ) I have always been alone at the end. There is no one to pay the cost but me. And when it comes time to pay the final one, the man I intend to court will be the one to send me past the River of Souls to my final rest.
( he thinks. in reality it will be an amalgamation of over 33 million versions of the man he loves, caught in an unending cycle. either way, mydei knows that his death is set in stone, as is the hand which wields the blade. )
I have seen the power you wield. You have the advantage of might and the ability to command the attention you needed. I am the daughter of a warlord who cannot touch the might of the Emperor.
[ Just to give context. She hears his message, though, that it does not matter if no one will listen: one must try anyway. Behind the device, Mel places her face in her hands for some time, considering. Her next reply comes later. ]
Are your people not paying a cost, both for their own hubris and for the disruptive nature of change? Will some of them not suffer or fall because of your choice?
I do not say this to press guilt into your hands, Mydei. I say it because this is my worry for my own home. That to bring such great upheaval to them will be both the fracture and the salve that can bring them to a better future. But who is lost in that fracture... That is what troubles me.
The kings of Kremnos are not decided by blood, but by death. The individual who defeats the current ruler becomes the king in their stead, and it matters not if that person is the child of the king or a commoner raised in the fields. You may not see your own strength when compared to those who have lived their lives for war, but that does not mean you are powerless.
( mydei knows this to be true. his father poisoned his mother, after all, when he learned that she sought to challenge him for the crown. it was this dishonorable act that led to her defeat at his hands, because she trusted him to abide by that which they venerated above all: honor. he would hope that mel finds a different way to wrest control from the emperor, even if she must light their home on fire. )
Their struggle to adapt in a new city with a new role weighs nothing when compared to their very lives, lives they would toss away without a second thought for hollow honor. But I have entrusted them to two people I know will see to it that they are treated with fairness, who will come to their defense and listen to their concerns, who will help them when I cannot. Is there anyone you trust to do likewise?
[ Not unlike Noxus, indeed. The rule of emperors has long been held as rightful in Noxus but there is nothing to say someone cannot challenge the Emperor, even if it might end poorly. If someone had the backing of the warlords of Noxus — or, barring that, the capability of handling the Emperor quickly and efficiently, and thus demonstrating their power — that would be another thing. But as an outsider, as an exile, no one would throw their lot in with her.
And until she discovered she had magic, she had no real power of which to speak of.
It doesn't mean she is powerless. But she knows she is no match for a man capable of cleaving her head from her shoulders. ]
There is no one.
[ What is left of her extended family would not dare to fight the crown. Kino would never have such ambition. Perhaps her mother would, if she were so deluded, but she is a problem in and of itself, and to place her in power would not change the trajectory of Noxus' history. Instead, it would perpetuate evermore. ]
My family is that of warlords, of people who have served the Emperor faithfully for years because they have been allowed to perpetuate conquest in other nations. And before I was exiled, my mother took her blade to our family tree, and I have fewer relatives as a result.
[ A war of succession that has cost the lives of uncles and cousins alike, and has forever strained her relationship with her mother. ]
Then you have my condolences. It is... aggravating to wish for something different, something better, and know you cannot at that moment.
( his impression of mel is that she is sharp, and sees more than what her eyes do at any point in time. perhaps that is simply his mind connecting two golden women together when there exists nothing, but he wonders... would mel damn herself if it meant helping others? would she slowly lose her humanity over centuries in order to protect the world, in order to guide others forward, knowing she could never see the end of it?
mydei thinks so. )
Unless such immortality is more common elsewhere, you do not have the luxury of seeing the seeds you wish to sow come to bear fruit. But you must trust in them. In your people, in finding those you can entrust the future to no matter what choice you make, even if you fear for them.
If they hold even a sliver of similarity to yourself, they will endure it.
[ Perhaps it would disappoint him to know that she hasn’t had overly strong feelings about the people of Noxus. Rather, that Piltover has taken up her attention, as have her plans and designs to get back in her family’s graces. To be worthy of her mother’s love. And as the months have passed, when she had finally seen her mother face-to-face, once she had gotten closer to Jayce…
She realized that her home no longer existed to her. She would never be a Medarda again, not the way she was. But now Piltover, too, will be lost to her. There is nowhere for her to go home.
Should she return to Noxus? If it means her mother will leave Piltover, she would make that sacrifice. To be her weapon until she could stop her (or until she was forced to try — though she no longer has the necklace the Black Rose operative gave her). But once her mother is gone…what is the alternative? She will never be free of the Black Rose either, her mother’s debt only given to her. If she stays away from Noxus, she will be hunted; if she returns to Noxus, she will be a glorified hostage, as she was before.
There’s so much she doesn’t know. Who is she to declare that what Noxus is doing is wrong? She is no one.
And yet… ]
I haven’t been home in so long that I don’t know that I’m the right one to make these changes. But I also do not know who would want to. If there is anyone who thinks similarly to me.
[ And with hounds at her back, can she find them before trouble finds her? ]
I do not fear not seeing a new dawn rise for my homeland. I am mortal and it is inevitable. But I would need to go home first. [ There’s a pause between this text and the next. ] And I will need to stop my mother.
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no subject
She failed, and I was thrown into the Sea of Souls.
no subject
You have my condolences for your mother, and for what you've suffered through.
Your home's way of thinking is not unknown to me. My home, called Noxus, was much the same: a conquering nation, obsessed with bloodshed and the might of its warriors. Every handful of years, they march on another nation, as its people grow restless with paltry arena fights.
[ She cannot say she loves her home when she has been gone from it for so long. She misses it, as one might always miss their first home, but to think of it is to think of the dead she has lost. ]
You've suffered to bring your people some light. To force them to realize who they are. I'm sorry that it took such a terrible loss to come to that.
no subject
( he can't quite recall if anyone had expressed sorrow for his past, given that he himself is ultimately unconcerned with it. not because he doesn't care -- the ghost of his mother come to visit him at night in half-remembered dreams still cherished memory -- but because it serves no purpose to linger upon them. if there was one lesson the abyss taught him it's that lingering will only drag him down into the cold depths and into death. )
And yet you exist, proof that they can be more than what they have decided for themselves. Do you wish to steer them likewise?
( though that might be difficult for someone who is not royalty, he supposes. )
It is a choice I'd make again. For their sake no sacrifice is too great or too costly if I am the only one to bear the weight of it.
no subject
[ It's ingrained in Noxus' very lifeblood, the foundation of its society. To request that it be brought to a halt so suddenly will throw the entire nation in turmoil. And as she is the daughter of Ambessa Medarda, there is no guarantee anyone would believe her viewpoint as it is. ]
But we cannot always decide who pays the cost, Mydei. Sometimes, the cost is paid by those around us, even if we have different intentions.
no subject
( A harsh lesson to be sure, but Mydei rather some of his people hate and loathe him for taking their home away from them, from turning it into his fortress and the battlefield where he will meet the black tide. Over and over again, until he dies his final death. )
It's different for me. ( No one said he wasn't arrogant, however well intentioned he is. ) I have always been alone at the end. There is no one to pay the cost but me. And when it comes time to pay the final one, the man I intend to court will be the one to send me past the River of Souls to my final rest.
( he thinks. in reality it will be an amalgamation of over 33 million versions of the man he loves, caught in an unending cycle. either way, mydei knows that his death is set in stone, as is the hand which wields the blade. )
no subject
[ Just to give context. She hears his message, though, that it does not matter if no one will listen: one must try anyway. Behind the device, Mel places her face in her hands for some time, considering. Her next reply comes later. ]
Are your people not paying a cost, both for their own hubris and for the disruptive nature of change? Will some of them not suffer or fall because of your choice?
I do not say this to press guilt into your hands, Mydei. I say it because this is my worry for my own home. That to bring such great upheaval to them will be both the fracture and the salve that can bring them to a better future. But who is lost in that fracture... That is what troubles me.
no subject
( mydei knows this to be true. his father poisoned his mother, after all, when he learned that she sought to challenge him for the crown. it was this dishonorable act that led to her defeat at his hands, because she trusted him to abide by that which they venerated above all: honor. he would hope that mel finds a different way to wrest control from the emperor, even if she must light their home on fire. )
Their struggle to adapt in a new city with a new role weighs nothing when compared to their very lives, lives they would toss away without a second thought for hollow honor. But I have entrusted them to two people I know will see to it that they are treated with fairness, who will come to their defense and listen to their concerns, who will help them when I cannot. Is there anyone you trust to do likewise?
no subject
And until she discovered she had magic, she had no real power of which to speak of.
It doesn't mean she is powerless. But she knows she is no match for a man capable of cleaving her head from her shoulders. ]
There is no one.
[ What is left of her extended family would not dare to fight the crown. Kino would never have such ambition. Perhaps her mother would, if she were so deluded, but she is a problem in and of itself, and to place her in power would not change the trajectory of Noxus' history. Instead, it would perpetuate evermore. ]
My family is that of warlords, of people who have served the Emperor faithfully for years because they have been allowed to perpetuate conquest in other nations. And before I was exiled, my mother took her blade to our family tree, and I have fewer relatives as a result.
[ A war of succession that has cost the lives of uncles and cousins alike, and has forever strained her relationship with her mother. ]
no subject
( his impression of mel is that she is sharp, and sees more than what her eyes do at any point in time. perhaps that is simply his mind connecting two golden women together when there exists nothing, but he wonders... would mel damn herself if it meant helping others? would she slowly lose her humanity over centuries in order to protect the world, in order to guide others forward, knowing she could never see the end of it?
mydei thinks so. )
Unless such immortality is more common elsewhere, you do not have the luxury of seeing the seeds you wish to sow come to bear fruit. But you must trust in them. In your people, in finding those you can entrust the future to no matter what choice you make, even if you fear for them.
If they hold even a sliver of similarity to yourself, they will endure it.
no subject
She realized that her home no longer existed to her. She would never be a Medarda again, not the way she was. But now Piltover, too, will be lost to her. There is nowhere for her to go home.
Should she return to Noxus? If it means her mother will leave Piltover, she would make that sacrifice. To be her weapon until she could stop her (or until she was forced to try — though she no longer has the necklace the Black Rose operative gave her). But once her mother is gone…what is the alternative? She will never be free of the Black Rose either, her mother’s debt only given to her. If she stays away from Noxus, she will be hunted; if she returns to Noxus, she will be a glorified hostage, as she was before.
There’s so much she doesn’t know. Who is she to declare that what Noxus is doing is wrong? She is no one.
And yet… ]
I haven’t been home in so long that I don’t know that I’m the right one to make these changes. But I also do not know who would want to. If there is anyone who thinks similarly to me.
[ And with hounds at her back, can she find them before trouble finds her? ]
I do not fear not seeing a new dawn rise for my homeland. I am mortal and it is inevitable. But I would need to go home first. [ There’s a pause between this text and the next. ] And I will need to stop my mother.
[ And likely kill her. ]