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[opposed]

@medarda

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[opposed]

[ She wants to ask if this really is the only thing he can do, if this is the only choice for him. But Viktor deserves, if nothing else, her respect and her support. This is his choice, after all. ]

Have they given any indication on the severity of the risks? I only

[ No, she deletes that last part. ]

[techmaturgy]

They gave me very little indication of anything.

[Including, of course, what this top secret experimental procedure might involve.]

[opposed]

[ That, in itself, is an answer to the question she didn't ask: do you think this is the best course of action? ]

But you are still prepared to make this choice regardless.

[ Despite being kept in the dark about what it entails and what may happen to him, if this is the path he is choosing, then he feels it is necessary. ]

[techmaturgy]

I'm not certain it's the right choice. It's a risky one, certainliy. We could allow the augmenter and my corruption to take its course--I'm sure that's what Jayce would prefer.

[opposed]

This isn't about Jayce, Viktor. It's about you.

Unfortunately, none of us can know if this is the right path. But if this is the choice you're making, then it's the one I support. I promised you that I would.

[ Even if that choice goes against what Jayce wants. ]

cw: terminal illness end of life stuff

[techmaturgy]

I would rather take some measure of action, rather than continue to languish and decline.

[To languish and decline while Jayce watches, powerless.]

The choice is mine, but I must consider those who might bear the consequences.

[So, Jayce. And Mel, too, at this point.]

[opposed]

For once, I think it's all right to think of yourself and what you would prefer to do, despite the lack of options on the table.

[ Though, perhaps she's talking to a wall. Viktor will think of Jayce regardless. ]

[techmaturgy]

I know. But I'm also...concerned, about the lengths he might go to, should something happen to me.

[opposed]

You know how important you are to him. How much he cares about you.

[ And how much Jayce will grieve if something should happen. She cannot lie and say she is not concerned about what he may do. But she also can't say what she wants to, which is that if Viktor does not return, she will not think poorly on what Jayce might do, either. ]

I will do everything I can to keep him anchored until he sees you again.

[techmaturgy]

It's unfair to ask this, as I said before. But he cares for you deeply as well. Whatever happens to me, I'm glad that he's found some happiness with you.

[opposed]

[ Her chest feels too tight, like her sternum might crack. Her eyes burn and she just barely keeps herself reined in. This isn't the moment to fall apart, when she wants to be - has to be - strong for both of them. They're relying on her objectivity in all of this. ]

Don't

[ Nope, that gets erased and not sent. ]

I can't believe you would use this time to talk about me when you're the one about to go through something terrifying.

[ Again, the way the both of them are so similar in some ways... ]

[techmaturgy]

Why wouldn't I thank you? I don't think I ever have.

[Not for giving them a chance that night, at the very least. That feels almost nostalgic, so many years on. Viktor is aware, now, how haughty he's been towards Mel, simply because of their relative social standings. Here, where the playing field is level, he's more comfortable. He's getting to know her as a person, instead of a Councilor and their benefactor.]

It's not that scary. Ideally, they'll give me a strong sedative.

[opposed]

I have done nothing worthy of your gratitude. You know that.

[ She could endlessly list the ways she has failed Piltover, has failed Viktor and people like him. When Jayce told her he was dying, she should have asked what can I do to help instead of simply letting him go. Mel didn't unlock the world for them; all she did was give them a chance where she had nothing to lose. There is no kindness in that.

And it is better, perhaps, that they are not speaking of this verbally. Because she almost laughs, a strangled noise in her throat, because she can imagine Viktor's tone now that she has gotten a glimpse at his humor. ]

I cannot imagine that not being terrifying, actually. Just the absence of time.

[techmaturgy]

[He supposes they could go back and forth about this, uselessly. There's much left unsaid from their world, but Viktor has his own transgressions to atone for. He cannot necessarily blame anyone else for theirs.]

I'm not a stranger to medical procedures. You become accustomed to it.

[opposed]

[ It's moments like this one where she realizes just how little she knows about the world. About Piltover, about Zaun. About the lives of others. And while there is shame, she pushes it aside for another time.

What she wants to say is, That's not something anyone should grow accustomed to. But that's an empty platitude in the moment, and with someone who has gone through enough. ]

Perhaps you can give them feedback on their care once you've returned.

[ It's meant to bring a moment of levity but it tastes ashen. ]

I know Jayce is with you tonight. Is there anything I can do for you, before you go tomorrow?

[techmaturgy]

[If I return, because this isn't about the experimental procedure, not really. It's about making some kind of choice, even if that choice might end everything. He'd rather do something definitive, rather than wait to see if the Augmenter will work, or if he'll even be recognizable by the end of it. He'd rather take the chance, while he's still able.]

No. Just look after him, while I'm gone.

[opposed]

That's a given.

[ And it would be cruel to do otherwise. But her fingers hesitate, not wanting to...say goodbye to Viktor, to seem like she has no hope at all; likewise, how many others has she lost, and never gotten the chance to say what she wished to? ]

Thank you, Viktor, for all you've given Jayce. All you've given Piltover.

[ And no matter how it ended, she's grateful that he brought up the council vote. She's glad he was able to convince them. And while she would give so much for him to have been gone before the explosion...this is all she can offer. ]

[techmaturgy]

You don't need to talk as though I won't come back.

[He's had quite enough of preemptive eulogies.]

[opposed]

[ listen here u little shit ]

You just tried to thank me and acted as though you felt you weren't coming back.

[techmaturgy]

Well, yes. I'm allowed to be pessimistic. You're supposed to tell me that everything will be fine and I'll be home soon.

[opposed]

I don't know if you're aware but you have an entire other person where you are who is much better at comfort than I.

[ just saying ]

And you will be home soon and back with us. So you can go right back to your work and not rest at all.

[techmaturgy]

Correct. But you are a realist, and that's important, in situations like this.

[Behind his Syntrofos, that does get a laugh out of him.]

You're learning.

[opposed]

Ah, I see now. So as the realist, if I say it is so, it must be true. I had no idea I had such power. I will be certain to use it most wisely.

[ Ridiculous. She shouldn't be laughing. ]

[techmaturgy]

That's not what I said. You're likely the best of us at tempering expectations.

damb this got long sorry

[opposed]

I liked my version better.

[ It really just sounds like he wants a balance between his (understandable) pessimism and Jayce's unyielding hope. ]

You know as well as I do that Patho-Gen will do everything in their power to keep you alive. [ Because of the implications if they lose someone. ] We don't know what comes next. Because you and I both know that 'alive' and 'well' are two different things.

[ You wanted realism, Viktor. ]

I know you'll return to us. I don't believe that is a matter of hope. Whatever the outcome is, no matter what's happened, we will be with you to handle it. But that is cold comfort when we aren't the person who is actually enduring the result.

[ And for all that either of them can say they are here to shoulder the burden and the pain, that's not actually how it works, and she's well aware of that. ]

You are the arbiter of your own path, Viktor. But we are choosing to be a part of it, in the places where we can.